Have you ever heard of the saying, “bad things happen to good people?” I believe this to be true but I also believe that bad things happen to people PERIOD. But “bad” is relative to the situation right? Like, no matter how good you are to people, how hard you work, how genuine you are, it’s like it’s never enough and you always end up with the short end of the stick.
To make this make more sense, I’ll give you some context. Lets say that you have been heartbroken a number of times. You have learned from each of those times and here you are again in another “started off great, they’re the love of your life, and all of a sudden they change and we’re back to square one” type of relationships. Let’s go as far to say that you have altered things in your life to make sure that you are doing everything in your power to get this relationship to work and still, nothing is working. That sucks right? Probably one of the most discouraging moments of your life.
But what if we change the way we look at that situation? Instead of saying “Why me?” what if we said “Although it hurts, thank you God for getting me through this tough situation, sticking by me, and teaching me?”
Let’s shift the perspective in the same situation:
You’ve been heartbroken countless times and this new person seems like they could be “the one.” Turns out, this person put on a great show, but they are just like the rest. You have to make the decision to leave and you’re sad about it because it’s another failed relationship. But instead of swearing off dating and staying in a funk for too long (let’s face it, you’re going to be sad, that’s inevitable), you decide to journal about what happened.
You weigh the pros and cons, you talk to God about it, and you realize that all the things in this relationship were not bad. The bad, however, made you cry yourself to sleep, it made you look at relationships differently, it even made you doubt yourself and your faith. The bad probably hurt worst than any of the other relationships.
But then you choose to focus on the good. The good gave you great laughs, the good gave you smiles from ear to ear, and the good kept you warm. The good taught you that it was possible to love again and be happier than you ever thought you could be. The good helped you know that God is looking out for you in the midst of your flaws, that he loves you so much that you gained a deeper understanding of what it feels like to be chosen by him.
You see, after listening to church and Transformation Church podcasts, I began to realize something. It’s not about the bad that’s happening to you because on the other side of the bad is good. It’s about perspective. Everyone battles with this, but some master this more than others; change what you choose to focus on. God is putting you through countless of trials, obstacles, and shortcomings to make you stronger. When we choose to say “I understand this is for my good” instead of “why me” we get the gift of identifying the good in the bad. We get to see the lessons that are being taught to us through hardships.
I am struggling with this on a daily basis. It’s something I am working through and no matter the circumstances, I seem to always find a silver lining tucked under all the negativity. I am choosing to focus on God and letting him use me for my betterment. I hope this helps you choose to see the good as well.