As I walk through my journey with anxiety and depression, I am often asked, “do you pray about it?” The answer to that question is, always! But as I also walk through my journey with Chasing God, I realize that I’m struggling with finding the balance with prayer and focusing on that prayer. I honestly think its because of my anxiety and my inability to quiet my mind when there is complete silence, but as I was practicing Yoga, something snapped in my head. Almost like a light bulb turned on and hovered above my head, like we see in the cartoons. Here’s what it was:
During yoga You can’t balance in a pose without first standing in a strong position to hold your weight. Once you find your position, you must find something to focus on, in order to keep that balance. The second you drop your focus, you tumble over and sometimes even fall. BUT if you reset and find that spot again, you will ultimately find your balance. This is also the same with meditation. You must find focus, whether it be yOur voice, your breathing, or listening to someone speak. If your mind wanders, you have to reset and refocus.
In other words: YOU CANNOT GO THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT FOCUSING ON GOD. He gives you the tools for a solid foundation. This is through church, prayer, and even Reading the bible. When it is hard to stand and carry the weight of life on your own, bringing your focus back to God will always give you balance.
As I am learning more about the promises God has made to us, I know for a fact, he never said it would be easy. He also never said, there would not be things to throw off our focus and our balance, but we have to keep fighting to see and hear God, in the midst of the noise.
Guys, I swear it is so hard, this journey I am on, and I am researching, taking the proper precautions, and finding my faith more and more through it. There are days, more often than none, that I just want to give up. But I have began to find more ways to focus on God and that has been apart of helping me quiet my mind.
In the new book I am reading, “First, We Make The Beast Beautiful” by Sarah Wilson, one thing she does is mediate. For someone with anxiety, it is hard to not think of everything else while in meditation, however, most people focus on their breathing and staying present. I have found that reciting a mantra works for me because I make it a prayer and keep repeating it. It helps me feel more present and focused on God.
So, don’t forget to focus and try your best to quiet the noise around you. It is hard, I won’t pretend its not. But knowing you always have someone to look to and keep you balanced, is a reward in itself.