Imagine going shopping and you walking up to the counter with more products than money. You won’t be able to complete the transaction, and as embarrassing as it may be, you’ll have to start putting things back bc you can’t afford it today. But that’s not to say you won’t be able to afford ever, right?
Now, think of this in terms of your energy and your emotional well-being. We want to please everyone around us. Think of these as your groceries: Family expects things from you, your significant other expects things from you, friends expect things from you, your job expects you to show up and work hard, you’re expected to pay bills (bc adulting), you are expected to have a good work/life balance, and you still have to leave room for yourself and what makes you happy. All of this is good, but it turns bad when you’re giving your all to other people, they’re giving less than half of that effort to you, and you have nothing left over for yourself.
Now, think of this: Before you go to a store, you write a list of things you need and you count your money to make sure you have enough to give. Maybe even start to think about buying the generic versions of items so you save more. Now think about how much of yourself you can spend on all of these “groceries” as your money.
So, Ak yourself: Do you have enough? Like seriously, do you have enough of yourself to make sure that you can cover every single thing on this list, plus what YOU need? What will you start to cut back on? Do you need to budget yourself? Yes? How will you budget yourself?
The picture I’m painting, I hope, is very clear. Your first priority should always be YOU. Your well-being is very important. Your emotional state, is very important. Your physical state, is very important. If you have to cut back on certain things because you don’t have enough money in your wallet, then so be it. Make a “budget” for what you can give a week, or even every day if need be.
If you need to write or read to feel in touch with yourself and it makes you happy, set a good amount of time for yourself to do so. If you need to travel to feel happy, do that; plan out your necessities first just like you would do for your real grocery list, unless you find yourself in Target (if you go, you know lol). You will always make a list of items you need first ! ALWAYS!
Figure out what you can give and if you can’t, NO is one of the best things you can start saying to people. I’m not saying don’t be there for people in their time of need but think of what you can give without emotionally draining yourself.
Remember: you can’t give something you don’t have.