When we talk about being able to afford something, we think about monetary value. For instance, if someone asks you to go on a trip, you take a look at your bills, look up flights and hotels, and then decide if you can afford it or not. Then we come up with a solid and straightforward response of, “I can’t afford it!”
Now imagine that your energy was a form of currency. You get to choose where you want to spend it. For example, I like to write, so I exchange writing time with my energy. Another example is: after work, I can be mentally tired, so when I get home, I no longer want to think too much; I want to direct my energy towards taking a long relaxing bath, with my tub tray that holds my iPad and has a cup holder (I’m not making this up, tub time is serious around here). I no longer want to spend my energy on work or anything productive, instead I want to be in my own bubble and just chill out. Preferably with a mask, a glass of wine or water, and catch up or binge watch a show.
But what happens when I get a phone call during tub time or being asked to give more energy to something or someone, that I don’t have? My energy account overdrafts. Simply put, “I can’t afford that with my energy.”
My friend, Lauren of @LeauxMaintenance in htx (look her up, she’s dope), and I had that conversation this morning. She brought this to my attention: It’s something you simply can’t get back and unfortunately, we aren’t careful with what we give our energy to either.
We will sit through anything to help others out, not realizing that we are overextending ourselves. Remember, when you overdraft, the more you stay on that negative side, the more money it takes. Same way with our energy, if we keep giving more than we have, things will keep taking and taking until there is literally no more.
We should also be able to express the protection of our energy without feeling bad. This is why we always end up emotionally drained and not at peace, because we are giving all of it to other people. Sometimes, we just have to say, “NO! I don’t have that to give you right now. It’s my time to relax and reset, we can talk about it at a later time.” This goes for everyone!
Of course, be there for your friends and be an ear. Of course, I don’t just blatantly ignore anyone, though there are a select few that I will talk to while I’m relaxing because they contribute to my peace. But don’t forget to express where you are emotionally. Be transparent about where you are so you don’t end up taking energy from them also. Take care of self and don’t “overdraft” your energy.